Altering Fate
by Batta the Beast
Summary: Fueled by pure malice, Saber Alter arrives at the Fourth Holy Grail War. Chapter 2 now up, featuring Rider's last stand!
1. Chapter 1

**Altering Fate**

ONce apron a tiem dere was Man name Kiritsugu. He sumon Sevrant. It girl! She mad. Altar Sabar here! She goes "GRRR" Iri ish scared. Den da War start. stuffs hapen n Asahassansin **ded.**

Den Wav3r wif Rider. Watch FIGHT. Da Saber figt Lancer. Den Lancer ratn about some shet, "LOAYLTY N HONAR!"

But den Seber use excablast, he ded (EX rank Loyalty/Honor failed). And Kayaaaaaaneth emelloi dude ded 2 cuz his mercuyr blob not as gud as Gaara's sand. O n Sola-i-have-a-really-long-name ran away. Den Kiritsugu no use assasinate skillz cuz Saber Altar can win world pece by killin pplz. Den BerserkCAR showed up. He mad. But den Saber exablast him 2. Lanceloto pull out sward n abosrob blast. But den Saber just punch him. He KO.

Den the Kings talk over feast. I mean GoB drinks. Den Assissins show up and FAIGHT. But Rider use NP! NP give men and men kiel assassins. Assassins r sad. O and Saber altar see da Caster, who kiles pplz and make instruments out of corpse. Caster was liek, "JOAN DE ARC! BE Mai wafu!" But he get exabllist n die.

Den uh. BerserCAR showed up n atick Saber, no 4 some1's glroy dis time. Den he use ARonidight. But Saber tek out Cariburn n Excaribur cuz she screws da rules. Den **ROW ROW FIGHT POWAH** n DOUBLE EXCALICALIBURNBLASTS BerserCar. Kariya live btw cuz he cool. He fought powah n get rid of worm.

Oh yeh Tokiomi stil live. Uh, Kirei stab him, and lauhg, **"REJOICE TOKIOMI, FOR YOUR DREAMS HAS FINALIY COME TRUE!"**

Who stil alive? Uh, oh yeh Waver tsill alive n tsuntsun. Uh, Kerrytugu smart n spiy. See dat Gil see him as mongrel. N since dog r mongrels, n dogs has packs. **Rider n Kerrytugu team up n make a pack of MONGRELS!** N den 2 vs 1 battle faight! Saber Alter and Rider, the King of Conquerors vs HaxGil!

Grillgamesh say, " lawls u mongrels still mongrel no mater hou many! Gates of Babylon!"

Den Rider use TWO NPs at saM tim3! Which is against da Fate rules cuz it never happen in canon. (Aside from SufferLAncer who spears sux0rz) Den he get army 2 charge. He also charge w/ NP #2, his Via Expen(2 hard 2 spel, its GOLDEN BULLS) 2 charge Gil.

N Sabar no wanna marry Gil go, "Your hair looks dumb." (obv meaning badass) Den she use excalbast w/ darkNESS.

Gil lulzed and pul out EA games. Ea games rotate very fast n Gil yell angryly, "You mongrels are not worthy of the death I shall deliver you!1!1!1!ONE!"

Den Rider die :(. But Saber is smart and kiel Iri :( and get Avalon! Den Saber live n stab Gil wif Exalibur.

Gil mad n sumon Vimana with dyhing breath. He nuke city. Den Saber, Gil, Kerry, and a large part of Japan die. But Kirei still alive cuz he got in Vimana. He say, **"REJOICE KIRITSUGU! FOR YOUR DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE!**"

(it true cuz Kerry save ppl from die from Grail) Also Saber die cuz nuke radiation. The end!

* * *

O wait, I forgot about Rin. She was liek kinda fanservice in that Rin episode. So uh, I guess she's gotta make an a pier ants.

SO, Dat Zelriech dude be trollin'. ANd sum _shiny, friendly_ Kaleidostick fell into Rin's hands. She not ded btw cuz Kariya save her. Den Rin TURN INTO loli Kaleido Ruby!

Kirei appear at da scene where Rin be at. He laugh, "Rin, It's time for this play to end!" Kirei hold up Tokiomi crops and made a theatrical Kirei gesture. "Dis man no ur father; **Rin I AM YOUR FATHER**!"

Rin was like, "**Never**!" Den she fly up with sum broom into ze air and go "Mister Priest, I dun liek you! MASTER SPARK DA ZE!"

Then Kirei cream, "**AhHh**! This pain is _soOoooO_ **good**. My body feels hotter than the **spiciest mapo tofu!**" Hen, Kirei died when he was killed, cuz Heartless don't like Touhous.

True end!


	2. Rider's Last Stand

AN- I profusely apologize for killing off Rider so crudely in the first chapter. Rider's last stand will be **far** more glorious here.

This chapter starts off right after Gil pulls out Ea while Rider charges him using both his Noble Phantasms.

* * *

"EAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

A blood red and obsidian slash split earth and sky as a colossal fissure rushed out to met Iskander's proud, dauntless troops.

"Disperse NOW!" Rider yelled desperately, though he could clearly see that Ea was too fast, too overpowering for his army to escape.

Then, chaos.

The lightning fast vortex hit Rider's companion cavalry at speeds dwarfing hurricanes-

Then, the desert sand _ceased_ to exist-

Rider's men were briefly suspended in the air-

Followed by chilling screams surrounding Rider-

That _vanished_ when the void consumed his men.

As Rider watched from a distance, one of his greatest warriors and trusted messenger, Mithrenes cried out, "No! This CAN'T BE! Our **dreams**- to follow you to the seas of Oceanus... are all for naugh-"

Then reality shifted back onto the bridge in Fuyuki City.

* * *

Kks so den liek oh yeh dar Saber ALtar still dere. Um, she use da Air of invislible to flai up so Ea games no kiels her. Being Saber no suffer, but Be rider suffer. So um, Saber jest stand der n stuffs, cuz Bros must faight it out ins la supar epic duel 2 desu!

So liek Broksander say his **war dance **cry, " AAAALaLaLaLaie! AAAALaLaLaLaie! AAAALaLaLaLaie! ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE BEER ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE AAAALaLaLaLaie ERENJAEGERAAAALaLaLaLaie ALEAAAALaLaLaLaie ALEAAAALaLaLaLaie SHOTS ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE VODKA AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaieSHINGEKI NO KYOJIN!AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JAEGER! AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie!" (dis look liek but relli just copy from LN)

N heCHARGE da bat man Grillgashmesh. Grill shot arrows like a proper Savant Archer, o wait he shoot lance and words and axes. Rider go "lulz" and fly up wif his bulls (not kiel by Saber in this fix)

Den Gil say "MONgrel!" n make Gates biggers. Den he shot moar non arrows AT-AT Rider.

So Rider say, " Via Expugnatio!" and use Thunder!

But it miser cuz acc 2 low!

Den Gil shot0 da Garden Wheal downa 2 ze earls. Bulls die. MJ would be sad. Zen BroSadder sUmoN horse! It Bellerophon! O wat wong horse. He sUMON his Ridre Horse! Den Gil kill Rider. =(

Jk lol. Da Falcon punch song play~ ! Rider Say! "AAAALaLaLaLaie! AAAALaLaLaLaie! AAAALaLaLaLaie! AAAALaLaLaLaie!ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE BEER ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE AAAALaLaLaLaie EREN JAEGER! AAAALaLaLaLaie ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie ALE AAAALaLaLaLaie SHOTS ALEAELAELAELAE LAEAELE VODKA AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN! AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JAEGER! AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie AAAALaLaLaLaie!"

But Gil screws the rule cuz he has monei (Nobel Phantasies), n Bucephanlus dead n Rider run. Rider get hti by LOTS of NPs! He keep runnin tho, and Get close to da King of Hoes! Den _Hei_ gonna kiles Hoe!. But Gil da King of Hoes use freakin ENgaydu! how gay.

But Remember de Falcon PUnch music KEEP PLying! SO RIDER USE **FALCON oneOENR12NOMNOMNOM!ONEONNE!11HOLY CRAP!SHINY PONYTAONE1!howlingintheSHADOWS!1!1!ONe GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAALLLLL!PAAAAAAWWWWWNCH H!**

Ten Enkidu die adn Gil die. jk, mongrel canon kils da King. Gil _wavedash_ back. He 2 smart 2 die from Falcon Punch cuz he pla lots of Melee on his **golden **cube. "Lol u Mongrel canot deafeat moi! I am not only teh King o Herons (is dat Reyson? from FE idk), I am the King of Gamers, _Mango_!"

Rider exhaseted cuz Falcon punch has lag. But Rider ALSO _Hax_ gamer.

_Falcon puonch music start playin agin3_

He use **L-cancel** 2 reduce lag foam pawnch and shoot 4ll NPs in his body OFF (liek LAncer in ep 1 of carnival phantasm). Den **BroSSKANDER** _short hop and F-air _**knee of JUSTICEEEEEEEEE! **Gilgamermesh.

So den, Broskander Sumo his Realtor Marble N Take over Jpaen. Den he play game. RIder pro game so he WIN SCII n take ovar Korea adn ze wrodl.

Good ending!


End file.
